1. |
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The distance is a mystery
from here to the sun there’s no end I can understand
Mostly I think of you and me
and how undone we’ve been since this all began
I take my breaths in a soft light
down the hall from the sleeping ones I love
Too tired to dance or fight
I stopped wearing a watch cause days are done
Passing by the burn pile
The stream sings for a while
when the sky opens up and keeps us in
I appreciate the way the tantrums fade
when the music is played when our little devils grin
you say there’s hope yet
as long as we keep our noses dry in the cold wind
something is happening
I’m sure that something is happening
Always knew I’d see
the end of everything I know
But I never thought it would happen…this…slow
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
Always knew I’d see
the end of everything I know
But I never thought it would happen…this…slow
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
Hard to explain
to those that are floating
not tethered to tiny fists
You live for someone else
while still trying to prove you exist
crossing 40 feels different
the daily creaks are a reminder
I don’t take it for granted
I see myself as a survivor
Open to let downs reshaping the struggle
picking up the pieces and redesigning the puzzle
trouble is… age feels… like a planet around your neck
the burden is certain to cause shame and regret
especially when you’re trapped behind walls
with people who say you’re hero
But they don’t understand how fragile the makings are of an old rapper’s ego
We need validation and tragedy
we like to leave the lights on til we have to
jumpstart the battery
driving on Empty running the signs
checking the screen til we losing our minds
It’s in our blood to be connected
to share the sinking the ship in open waters
to be something for someone
to be a legend to my daughter
Damn Apocalypse can make you trip on
all the wrong things
Right now let’s forget we’re all on fire
and ignore the shark fins
Always knew I’d see
the end of everything that I know
But I never thought that it would happen…this…slow
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
Always knew I’d see
the end of everything that I know
But I never thought that it would happen…this…slow
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
As long as I’m with you
I’m ready to see the new day through
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2. |
Trying to Land
04:12
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I’ve been looking for a place to sleep
a place to lie down my tired head
I’d like to use your chest
but i’ll settle for these feathers instead
my eyes need to fall
They need to land on the shore
these waves won’t push me far
they won’t push me from your door
I’ve warmed cold floors
bare bones dust and smoke
It’s amazing all the ways in we cope
So tired so vacant
there’s a list long and wild
I’ve been afraid to say it
so I’ll carry silence with a smile
I’ve been craving a place to rest
a place with locks and forced hot air
I’d like to use to your chest
but I’m convinced that’s not fair
I’ll spare you the story
of how I’ll see the light at forty
how I’ll be better shortly
how I’ll be better at seeing glory
That’s not us now that’s them then
in brick house of sin mastering zen
The future is wide awake with sharp teeth
The past is fading flocks of sick sheep
And my present is quietly pleading for sleep
These are my choices
wrapped in truths older than my clothes
Packed in a suitcase with stickers and holes
buried in a sleeping bag under flowers and failed goals
with my greatest visions lost because
the film was overexposed
I’ve been circling
trying to find a spot to land
I’d spend a night at your feet
but I’d love to fall into your hands
I’ve been looking..looking for a place to rest
Please let me settle down here
I know you’re clean and I’m a mess
I need a place to breath free the trouble from my lungs
Sing me to sleep sweet bird I’ll be gone when morning comes
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3. |
You Came Back
03:45
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My Love is gone
Awake and left the bed
The smell of stale coffee knocks around my head
The pot is still warm
There's barely any left
Boy he vanished quick
I feel exposed I haven't dressed
My thoughts are dragging
Working overtime to explain
How someone could leave
Without telling you their name
He left a note
The handwriting is perfect and severe
This was a mistake
I never should have slept here
You remind me that i don't belong
In a world that's soft and calm
I sank to the floor
Trying to find my form
The quiet is real
In the middle of the storm
The first time is one to remember
In a sea of moving space
Lovers swimming circles
Trying to keep up with the pace
We were both running from something
But your feet were starting to slow
And i swear you were calling me from a life i already know
Both standing at a red light
Waiting for the sign to change
A rat race all around us tired and deranged
At first I looked away the resemblance was too strong
Time had opened up
And pulled you back to where you belong
The minutes they fell away i'd fallen back in love
Rescued from the ugly place that cages doves
I almost said his name but you wouldn't have turned
But to hear it across my lips was something i had earned
My throat started to open my breath came rushing in
The lock doors in our abandoned house
were opening again
I felt electric
sorting through the way you would sing
I felt electric
Thinking about how you would sing to me
The ones we leave behind
Never leave our mind
The ones that push ahead
Never leave our bed
The memories are a delicate thread
That sew together every word we've said
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4. |
Pirate Bones
03:40
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I'll hold you in my arms as the wind runs through your hair
We're miles from the end and I don't seem to care
You'll sing like you always do
As roses fall from your lips
I'll be hypnotized from your brown eyes and shaking hips
Dance while I build a good home
Hum while i split the firewood
The walls will be made of glass so they'll see we're up to no good
My heart is sinking toward the bottom sinking toward the bottom of your sea
It'll rest with the wrecks and pirate bones and i'll be in good company
They'll say that we're tough pair that lived beyond our days
Rebels with shallow graves and switchblades in our names
I'd drive a million rusty nails to keep your ghosts away
I'd pull every one of them out if you wanted them to stay
We are the only ones left in the world with something left to prove
Stay by my side when the road opens wide and i'll leave everything to you
Rebels with shallow graves and switchblades in our names
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5. |
Between The Inhale
05:23
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It’s hard to say which door you closed
Window open left me exposed
Hard to say what started the fight
Maybe my neglect or lack of insight
Hard to know why you never spoke up
Why you were cold to my touch
I’m sure there are answers hidden
in between the inhale
Under the tongue of a female
Like you nothing is safe
Could be pleasure and purpose
Or could be razor blades
Still I stay
Say the wrong thing and step back
Give the sun time to shine
Give your fists time to react
I’ve been broken forever
I’ve broken forever
I’ve broken into treasure
That can only be measured in measures
And still the mess is attractive
It’s what keeps us captive
I’ve been so committed to loving you
If you ever leave I don’t know what I would do
And I don’t need to explain
Why I’m lost inside my own veins
Blue to red but I won’t complain
No matter how bad the pain takes my breath away
You’ve been by my side
By our bedside
By and by and never wasted a moment alive
Smoke by the wayside
Chamber hot from shots gone too high
Truth is, gravity is a manipulation
It’s the invisible chain that’s got me wasted
Pulling the weight the world
Pulling the voice of my girl
Out of the air and onto the tape into a digital blur
Waxing poetic about a pathetic aesthetic
You started a movement but never accepted the credit
Now we watch the ceiling fan spin
Pretend to put the 45 to the needle
Drift away to the war drums of my people
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6. |
Don't Change
01:58
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7. |
Agent Of My Own Recovery
04:07
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We are pilgrims minus the ocean
No kingdom to flee no golden road chosen
Looking for brighter ways
To navigate the maze
And dance our way through
The latest craze
Cold shoulders under heat lamps
Live wires pulsing with the amps
Fighting through years of let downs
Stress cracks the foundation
You’re a god in a small town
Addicted to the rush of salvation
You’re a god in a small town
Addicted to the rush of salvation
You're your own worst enemy
Black and white memory
Graffiti on the tapestry
Hollowed out legacy
I don’t need to explain why I’m lost in my veins
Looking for the heart to run the body and brain
We complain when it’s to simple
We complain when it's violence
Trying to make martyrs out of molehills out of misery
And pay our pennies to tyrants
Alll night I’ve been running away from my dreams
Looking to vanish in a smoke screen
I’ve been seeing the same thing
Fossils masquerading under human skin
Fighting over scraps thrown out by them
Losing a battle for nothing cause they never learned to ride on the wind
Someday the clock stops and you become a legend
Buried under grass with your sisters and your brethren
And this is all for what?
Tell me what we sacrificed to turn it up
And this is all for what?
Tell me what we sacrificed to turn it up
Through and through i seek
To ruin the abusers of the truth
Armed with only a pen to rip a hole in the roof
I'm an agent of my own recovery
I'm an agent of my own recovery
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