1. |
Lost In The WAVS
04:09
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last night
I felt right
for the first first time in my life
in my life
I can imagine how difficult
interactions feels when the
subtraction is real
divided by fuck how you feel
The pity party was canceled
we handled the invite poorly
we left the nails stuck in the mantel
so we could pretend art isn’t boring
We’ve been vessels
in a shallow stream a collection of water logged phrases
in a book with no last page
and sticky note agendas
pretenders without instruments
sheltered in a castle of debt
full of promise and salaries
that we haven’t seen yet
I want that undying devotion
that matching tattoo
that sacrifice it all
that gripped fist to see it all through
I’ve been saying the same words
rejuvenating the echo
playing the same old songs
cause i’m refusing to settle
Older than I look
Body more broke than my age
Looking balance in these sounds
Trying to get lost in the wavs
These kids might drive me past the point
of caring
but as long as the drums are blaring
I’m still preparing
for the final landing
Complaining when it’s raining
too hot in the sun
I’m too much for my closest
and i work hard to never be outdone
abuser of my lungs
king of a forest fire
I’ve broken the code of the liars
and lost focus towards what I aspire
head down towards the current
final breath for a while
Atheist with his head in the clouds
racing gods on miracle mile
Use the grief like kerosene
let it light up your feed
We’re past what we want
we’ve got to get what we need
I need an audience that’s open
I need hearts willing to work
I need to finally figure out what my bleeding is worth
But you see it too
You see the cracks in the mirror
You see the depths of despair
and the know skies getting clearer
Older than I look
Body more broke than my age
Looking balance in these sounds
Trying to get lost in the wavs
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2. |
Nowhere
03:47
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Left alone by the side of the road
The dust still clinging to the air
Nowhere to go
There's no moon and we could be anywhere
I followed you on a feeling
A hunch that crunches underneath my shoes
Gravel smoking from tires that are grinding to a halt
I saw your eyes close in the rearview
You said that you saw a shadow
It could of been anything
Running circles around the quiet
My stomach rumbled and squeezed
Begging for protein to revive it
But it was empty
And it would tempt me to beg at the next headlights to pass by
But I worried that you would double back
And the train tracks are the only way to stay to alive
Gotta a run away
The doors are closed the windows are shut
Gotta get away Gotta get away
Wait for the train to pick me up
I am not guilty
I am reckless
A sheperd that's flockless
I'm a pastor that's drunk off the words of a vonnegut psalm
I've been bouncing through towns that collapse and capsize
With payphones that are hollow
And screaming find me a place that I belong
Will and american terror for the ghosts that still fight
For opportunity that's big enough
To fit through the bullet holes in their street signs
I see you under the tree
Happy as can be
Knowing that there's chaos underneath the fields
Rebellion mixed with water
Plotting with the sun to make shields
Well, it's a good thing you left me in the middle of nowhere
Well, it's a good thing you left me in the middle of nowhere
Well, it's a good thing you left me in the middle of nowhere
Gotta a run away
The doors are closed the windows are shut
Gotta get away Gotta get away
Wait for the train to pick me up
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3. |
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You asked me if i blamed you
asked me to describe what it was like
walking on the tight rope
during a tug of war of spite
friction burns from both sides
Left out in the cold and left in the fire
numb to crying eyes
and driven by my teenage desires
I was collateral damage
the point but not the point
moving the rock through the passage
That your god could never anoint
You came from bricks and closets
city faucets always running
holding onto your brother’s shirt for guidance
cause the world is blurry and the wolf is cunning
Running in your footsteps
looking back on who we were
Don’t need apologies
cause time has healed the hurt
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
I met you before you met yourself
we’ve walked oceans
since we’ve stopped to notice
funny how purpose makes
you see the truth while
the pain turns into focus
You raised me in limbo
halfway between my mother
and an honest heart
somethings will never change
but that’s because no one told you could take it all apart
Looking back I can’t react to what I didn’t know
I knew something was off
But I was always on the go
stumbling in dark rooms learning
how a woman’s shape is perfect
breaking down and breaking up
it wasn’t then but now it’s worth it
Running in your footsteps
looking back on who we were
Don’t need apologies
cause time has healed the hurt
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
Self absorbed self sufficient
self destructive pro self deficient
you were wandering on crossroads
the sign was there but you must have missed it
we share tempers we share failures
we share roots in a dying tree
But I’ve decided to plant my own
with these second chance seeds
No need to look back
We lived it once and that was enough
we have sins for every second
we got those scars and we’ve got that love
We are the architects of our cliches
we have the right to peace and health
You asked me if I blamed you
but I know I was caught in the middle of a war with yourself
Running in your footsteps
looking back on who we were
Don’t need apologies
cause time has healed the hurt
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
I made my own way
because you pushed me out the door
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4. |
50 Miles From Home
04:26
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101 stretches on a frozen night
Broken street lights don’t help my failing sight
I can count the cars I pass on one cold hand
black and yellow minutes stretch the dark until I land
my head on a warm pillow in a house on a hill
with a sleeping family dreaming and fighting off a chill
my wife settles when she feels my side of the bed filled
Late nights on the atlas have been known to kill, my kind
only empty roads in minus 10 degrees
The weather becomes the angry god to decree
anyone driving trying to thrive
May not survive
but lucky for me that decree is not my law
I’m bound by nothing until all this ice thaws
The sounds that are trapped in my throat
are alive and searching for air
I can’t shut down and I’ve got to be prepared
The highway feels low when the temperature drops
I’ve got to go go go go push on don’t ever stop
Only sound is the stereo hiss, the 1/8 inch is screaming
Wants to be connected to something worth receiving
reach out for my phone but the screen is still black
the machine is freezing trying hard to come back
the gauge says minus 12 the engine starts to roar
alone in a time capsule wishing I was 24
my bones used to handle the cold through indifference
I found a million miracles pushing through the distance
Saw Minnesota sunrise South Dakota days
Carolina mountains while the radio played
Never seem to matter how cold it would get
Dan would still roll down the window and smoke his cigarette
I pull up my hood, look for ghosts in the trees
staying quiet about the wind or the way he’s chasing the disease
but that was a lifetime ago in a space I rarely roam
years from my mind and still 50 miles from home
The sounds that are trapped in my throat
are alive and searching for air
I can’t shut down and I’ve got to be prepared
The highway feels low when the temperature drops
I’ve got to go go go go push on don’t ever stop
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5. |
Monument
03:38
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Swimming in quicksand
One hand reaching for a limb
Last breath
In a rushed mess
Risking quiet for a whim
I can’t talk it through
While I’m processing
There’s no words to
Match the blood letting
Kicking rocks
In a pine box
I paint a picture with a crooked nose
Everyone knows everything
The plots stops always at where we go
When succumb to the hum of a rumbling engine
Driving us forward on the concrete Oblivion
We’re building a monument to our love
We’re building a monument to our love
Beloved
I trusted everything you said
Through the young nights on old sheets
in a twin bed
hands running the map
charting new universes
You told me I was everything
told me what a heart like mine deserves is
caring hands
wide eyes
immune to the heartbreak
always trusted to yourself
to avoid where the dam breaks
The story is specific
you get it when you’ve fallen
You feel dragged then terrific
like the see saw is your calling
All in i am in the light of anxious mornings
Walking down the hallway
I can hear when the tea gets poured in
And that’s the routine i dream of never breaking away from
Writing about what we’ve built as a monument and totem
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6. |
Letters To My Future
04:01
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I’ve been waiting for the reckless days to end
slowing down to see where the colors blend
I know that the clouds are here to stay
And the squares will say what they say
Cause they to afraid to hit play
Line up and get your ticket now
The show starts soon as your fantasy allows
Truth is cool kids get old and gray
But rebellion was never attached to an age
The alarm is going off we about to wake up
Mirror Mirror on the floor
Show me the yarn that you have spun
Obsession through comparison
Stealing days for fun
I don’t want to be a number
An algorithm that brainwashes children
A fraction of a penny in the pocket
Of a ceo’s long term vision
Don’t mistake this for reminiscing
It’s a struggle no matter the date on the clock
I am the target they’ve been missing
With a hollow tipped shot
The alarm is going off we about to wake up
I’ve been living in a time capsule
Waiting for the tastemakers to dig
I’ve been writing letters to my future
Sending the blueprints for a bridge
Our lives are a blink in the eyes of an artist
That can’t show you face or smile
Hovering over everything
With a preference for the wild
In our days of neon haze
We have choice to push or refuse to budge
We can unplug and and get undone
Or choose to never look under the rug
Decisions must be made
You either stand until the bones break
Or you turn your back on what you see and romance with the fake
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